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In other words, I was making a joke to further an important point - all religions tend to have some elements which can appear ridiculous to outsiders. This is exactly the sort of high-class, deep-thinking argumentation I love coming to Slashdot for.Īnd in case you didn't notice this, I explicitly noted at the end that my post was meant to be satirical.
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And his daughters are so stupid, that after they fleĭude, don't use religion as a reason why you're bitter about life and your dad fucked in you in the ass like a nickel whore. RABBI B: "Yeah - so the guy flees the city, and his wife turns into a giant pillar of salt !" RABBI A: "Cured? Like bacon! Well you'll need some salt." AbraHAM has a guy in his family that lives in a city that needs to be cured."
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RABBI A: "No, when he gets called by God, you gotta add more bacon jokes - he's AbraHAM. RABBI B: "Okay, where do we go now? Well, there's that guy everybody brings up as the founder of our people - Abram. RABBI A: "Well, they keep telling us we can't have bacon. RABBI B: "Fantastic! But what are we gonna call the people who get cursed?" he's all drunk and curses the guy who saw him, and thus we can justify serfdom and slavery for millennia !" and his family has to come in and cover him up." And then when they land the boat after the flood, the guy gets all drunk and naked.
#Pastafarian bible gospel crack
Everyone's going to crack up at the ridiculousness of that. So he packs up two of everything on his boat!" How about the flood covers everything, so the guy has to save all the animals. Remember, we gotta make this silly and entertaining, or nobody will read it. RABBI B: "Yeah, and he packed up all the stuff in his house to save it from the flood." Remember that big flood they still tell stories about? What if God told a special 'chosen' guy to build a giant boat and sail around in it?" How about we put a tree in paradise with lovely fruit, but the people aren't supposed to eat it for no apparent reason? And then they do, and God just says, 'Get the hell out of here!' " What to do? Well, we need God to look completely ridiculous from the start, with all sorts of arbitrary rules. And now we need to explain why life sucks so much, and all these stupid rules we have about not being able to eat bacon." RABBI A: "Okay, that is pretty hysterical. maybe the woman is made from the guy's RIB. RABBI B: "But maybe that's what we need here. God created the universe over 7 billion years." I expect to see some results when I get back. HEAD RABBI: "Hey, you nimrods! It's time to get to work on that 'history' of our people. How can we be sure any unbelievable religious text wasn't some sort of "pointed political statement" or "satire"?įor example, I now take you back a few thousand years to the drafting of the Book of Genesis: This "plainly" here is difficult to judge. The Flying Spaghetti Monster Gospel is plainly a work of satire, meant to entertain while making a pointed political statement The Flying Spaghetti Monster Gospel is plainly a work of satire, meant to entertain while making a pointed political statement," and thus not a "real" religion. A prisoner could just as easily read the works of Vonnegut or Heinlein and claim it as his holy book, and demand accommodation of Bokononism or the Church of All Worlds. In ruling against the inmate and the church of Pastafarianism, the judge wrote "there must be a line beyond which a practice is not 'religious' simply because a plaintiff labels it as such. The Federal judge ruled that The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is not a "real" religion eligible for protection under the First Amendment. WheezyJoe writes: A court in Nebraska has officially ruled that Pastafarianism is not a real religion, and therefore a prison inmate with "several tattoos proclaiming his faith" will not get $5 million or privileges to order and wear religious clothing and pendants, nor meet for weekly worship services and classes and receive communion.